Most Feared Match Up- QCNS Men's Basketball Report 8/23/11

Brethren,

A couple of teams were really lighting it up Tuesday nite! One game finished 61-60. Don't know who, as Scorekeepers only identified the teams as W (Winner) & L (Loser).

Another unidentified team scored 64 points!

And then there was Nauvoo Station's rampage with 28 points......but since only 4 players showed up, what can you expect?

At half time in one game I hear someone say "...Scored 14 points." I asked who the player was and the answer was "That was the the TEAM total"...... The other ream had amassed 11 points. AT HALF TIME......

Crismon Ward's Yancey Littler has apparently mastered the exceptionally tricky "Assist" play of bouncing a pass off an opponent's kneecap to his teammate for an easy lay up under the basket. At least he claimed he was aiming for the opponent's knee cap......It wasn't the only play he mastered last nite......dropping in a couple of close range one hand "Push" shots. (He tried for jump shots but there weren't no jump there!)

And Rittenhouse's "Super Shupe" has the longest step & a half stride to the basket I've ever seen for a fellow just shy of 6' tall......he went from the top of the key to the hoop for a lay up without a dribble and did not get called for traveling! HE even made the shot (that time, at least) An AMAZING, if questionably legal play.

Dribbling- It would be appreciated if more players would dribble before they start running on their drive to the basket. I know Lebron & Kobe aren't expected to dribble until they've taken two steps but ain't none of you making them big bucks to entertain the fans......and you know no on calls traveling violations in the NBA!! Oh, yeah, that's true!! We have a retired NBA Ref from Phoenix, Tommy Nunes Sr (His son, Tommy Jr is currently a NBA Ref). When Tommy was first hired by the NBA he went straight from Refereeing Arizona High School Basketball. After one of his first games he got a call from the NBA Commissioner of Referees, "Tommy, The NBA is ENTERTAINMENT. No one is paying to see you call Traveling Violation, so lay off the Traveling Calls if you want to stay in the league." CLICK! Went the phone. And they STILL don't call Traveling in the NBA...

Creating Space- "What do you mean I can't create space!!??" I was cautioning a player about pushing off. Did you know you can't "Create Space" while playing? What is that, you ask? It's when an Offensive Player with the ball used his shoulder, ample gluteous maximus or forearm to try & push the defender away so the Offensive Player has "space" to maneuver free of the Defender. ''Creating Space" is basically a Player Control Foul, so don't try to "create space"!!

The Ball IS Deaf- The ball ain't listening......so when you miss a shot, and yell, "Oh come on!" at the ball, it won't help.

Listen Up- Have you noticed...... I try to "talk you out of" fouls or violation? "Clear the key, white!" to avoid a 3 Seconds Violation. "Hands Off" to the Defense. "Watch your screen," "Don't Push,'' etc. So, if you listen, I'll try and keep you out of violations & fouls, if possible. But if'n you don't listen......



Screens- I hollered "Watch that Blind Screen" to a Nauvoo Station Player the other nite to which he yelled back at me, "This is basketball. Screens are allowed!!" He didn't say "idiot" but the tone of voice did......Hmmmmm. How does a fellow handle insolent conduct from an apparent "Know it all" that don't know what he's talking about? I was just trying to help him out and did not call what could have been a Blind Screen Foul. Something which, despite his vast rules knowledge & extensive experience at the highest levels of B-Ball competition, he apparently does not comprehend......

Here's the Screening Principle-  A Player can set a screen as close to a stationary opponent player as possible-just so long as the screener does not contact the person being screened, does not infringe on the other players "Verticiality" AND the person being screen can readily see the screener. When you set a "Blind Screen," meaning the player being screened can NOT see the screener, the screener needs to allow the person being screened enough time to see the screen and react to go around the screen. UP TO 2 STRIDES if the player being screened is moving!! So if you set a screen on a player who is on the run and not looking at you, make sure you are allowing that player time to see & react to your screen.

The screener also can NOT stick his knee, hip, backside, elbow, or shoulder out to restrict the movement of the person being screened.

3 Seconds Violation- This is perhaps the complaint most commonly yelled at Referees from Players & fans. All the yelling show is that person can at least count to 3, which may surprise some of the their former math teachers......

First point- 3 Seconds ONLY applies to an Offensive Player. A Defensive Player can stand in the key as long as he wants, so please don't yell, "3 Seconds when the Defense is standing in the Key!"

3 Seconds only applies when the Offensive Team has possession of the ball, called Player Control or Team Control. When a shot goes up and the scrum forms under the basket and the ball is being slapped around there is NO team Control and the Offense can be in the key more then 3 Seconds.

There is NO Team Control when a Team is in-bounding the ball, so an Offensive Player CAN stand in the lane for more than 3 seconds during an inbound play. (Yes, I know the Offensive Team Player is holding on to the ball as he stands out of bounds to throw it in and you could say he has "control" of the ball. But by Rule, THAT is not considered Team or Player Control for a 3 Seconds Violation.)

If an Offensive Player is in the Key, the Ref is silently  & Patiently counting, "One Thousand One, One Thousand Two, One Thousand Three," NOT speed counting, to himself / herself, like the fans do. When the Ref sees a player lingering too long he'll holler "Clear the Key, White!" (Or whatever is the team color). Then if the player beings to move out of the key (away from the basket) OR if a shot is attempted while the player is moving out of the key there is no 3 Seconds Violation.

Referee Whistle- When you're Refereeing, BLOW THE WHISTLE LOUD so people can hear you and stop! I also suggest avoiding eating a steak Chimichanga @ El Rico's before Refereeing. It adds a bit too much "toot" to the whistle toot, if you know what I mean......as I found out the hard way! Just go to El Rico's on other than game nites.

When the Referee Whistle Blows- STOP!!! If you are grasping the ball with an opponent, and the Referee blows his whistle- STOP STOP, STOP, DANG IT, STOP wrestling for the ball. You're not a bunch of Cub Scouts wrestling over the last cookie!! It's a jump ball and the last person holding the ball is NOT the winner!

Referee Calls- While in-bounding a ball near the "Over Flow" area I asked some folks sitting there if they'd "come to see some good basketball?" When they enthusiastically said, "YES!!" I quipped, "Then you've come to the wrong place! Won't see much good basketball here!" A player, over hearing my comment, muttered, "You can say the same thing about the refereeing!."

That may be true...... you'll recall I've asked EACH team to provide ONE Referee and ONE Score Keeper per game? Occasionally I get 2 Refs on the court. Too many times only ONE team provides a Ref.

However, I've deduced that the apparently poor quality of Referee obviously is because the best Referees in the Stake aren't volunteering to take their fair share of time wearing the Black & White shirts & blowing the whistles!! Oh, they'll PLAY in the games, alright, and they will yell at the Referees who are volunteering as they play but the guys that seem to think they are better Referees than the ones on the court don't have the gumption to actually BE the Referee. Bro Whitener's succinct  comment sums it up, "If I'm not willing to be a Referee I shouldn't complain about the Refereeing."

Folks, it's EASY to play or spectate and make the game calls. It's HARD to actually be the Referee. I joke with Bro Mott, who is the Globe High School Boy's Varsity Basketball Coach after he Refereed Tuesday nite, "Did you even blow the whistle?" He said, "Yes, 3 times, but you also blew the whistle on the same calls." Then he said, "I wanted to blow the whistle a couple of other time but by the time I tried to blow the whistle the play was gone and it was too late!" Trust me, Bro Mott does not have trouble yelling, "That's a FOUL" from the bench when he's coaching a Globe game. But even after all of his years of experience "refereeing from the bench" it's still tough to be the Referee on the floor and make the call.

And I know even if those brethren that prefer to Ref as they play actually do put on the Black and White shirts we'll still have complaints about calls......

Billy Kennedy is a former Arizona High School & Junior College Ref currently in the NBA. he got his "Big Break" into the NBA during a NBA Referee Strike a few years ago. In a game with the New York Knicks, Dough Collins, I think was the Knicks Head Coach, Billy made a call that Collins did not like. "I've been in this league for 20 years as a player and a coach and I've NEVER seen a Ref call like that before!!" Yelled the Coach. Billy's reply? "Coach, I've been in the league 2 weeks. Get used to it!!"

We've got guys refereeing who've never refereed before- get use to it!!

Ranch and Ironwood Crossing have a system worked out- Brent Slade, from Ranch ward, refereed when Ironwood Crossing played. Then Jon Mott, from Ironwood Crossing, refereed while Ranch played.

I don't care how you get a referee on the court, I just care that you do!!

Kids Run Amok- Since Artie Whitening, Cortina 2nd Ward, evidently does not play basketball, I thought I was off the hook being the Stake Baby Sitter & had no more fears of hear that Whitening Woman holler at her kids (as she kicked them out of the care on her way to Bunko)- "Bro Pear will watch you!!"

I've had complaints each of the last 2 nites from Wards occupying the Stake Center about Kids running thru halls & making a disturbance with yelling, pounding feet, ect. I thought the only folks I was called to baby Sit were the Big Kids on the court, but apparently not. The respective Ward leaders find me and ask me to  keep the kids under control. Hey, I'm having enough of a challenge keeping the guys on the court under control, how can they expect me to also patrol the halls?!?!

So, dads, when you tell your wife, as you head out the door to play B-Ball with your kids in tow, "Don't worry, I'll keep and eye on them!" Please do.

Most Feared Match up- And that reminds me of what may be the most interesting & feared Match Up of the our Stake- Ranch vs Cortina 2nd. No, not because Brent Slade of Ranch Ward & Brad Martineau of Cortina 2nd can really fill it up from 3 point range. It's the ancillary game these brethren bring to the game that interests (and worries me).

A few years ago I was doing a Mesa Parks & Rec game with Brent Slade putting on his usual spectacular shooting display. One of Brent's female fans became so enthralled with the exhibition that she ripped off her shirt and ran onto the court topless to give Brent a hug- right in the middle of the game and in the middle of the court! Of course that stopped the game. No, I did not have to blow the whistle to stop the game. The gawking players stopped of their own accord....ASTONISHED at what they were seeing.

The female fan was his 3 year old daughter!! Seems Brent had convinced his wife that he could "babysit" his kids AND play while his wife went to Book Club, Bunko or Relief Society, ect.

You are all familiar with the penchant of the Martineau boys to be stripped half naked & covered in water & mud within minutes of arriving at the softball field. Heaven only know what could happen when the Slade & Martineau kids match up!! At least there's no dirt in the Stake Center......unless the boys get outside & bring it in!

4 to Play- Yes, I said a Team could start with only 4 players. 3 teams Tuesday nite took me at my word. Vineyard, however did not even manage 4. In fact they were a complete NO SHOW!!!! I know 6:00 PM is a tough start time, but Jon Mott, who coaches/teaches in GLOBE made it to 6:00 PM game on time to play! And Vineyard was a 7:20 PM Game.

After poking fun at Dallas Nevill & his breathtaking Fast Break away speed, he also was a no show! I was worried he was offended. Not so. Seems he was teaching scuba to a group of Boy Scouts at his pool, so that's certainly a valid excuse to miss the game! His & Dane Chaffe's company, Rescue AC 911 was also speedy fixing a broken AC unit for me a couple of weeks ago on a 110 degrees day, so what speed Dallas lacks on the court he makes up for in service off the court!

Shirts- Again I request everyone bring one WHITE SHIRT & one DARK SHIRT to the game so no one has to be the 2nd player wearing the white pull over jerseys I bring. A high school coach, encouraging students to take a shower after PE told us that sweat has the same chemical composition as urine and he did not want to be walking around with "urinated on" people. (He was a bit more graphic than "Urinated on" as you might imagine.) So, just keep in mind if someone on your team forgets to bring a white & dark shirt and YOU have to be the 2nd or 3rd player wearing one of those pullover jerseys- you're playing in someone else's urine!!! With that image in mid, maybe some of you will take the initiative & bring some EXTRA shirts with you for those forgetful teammates......

When NOT to complain about a foul not being called- If you are chasing a loose ball, perhaps even knocked the ball out of the dribbler's hand, and while chasing down the ball the other player dives for it, sliding along the floor and then YOU dive on top of the other player......don't give that "I'm shocked" look and ask the Ref why he did not call a foul on the guy on the bottom of the pile. Just be glad he did not call the foul on you!!

It's also NOT traveling to dive for a ball and slide for a distance along the floor due to momentum from the dive. However, if you then roll from side to side to avoid a defender, that IS traveling.

Brethren, You'r Out Preforming the NBA- QCNS Men's Basketball 8/18/11

Brethren,

We clearly will not have any "Goal Tending" Violations in this league!

It's all a matter of perspective......good or bad Referee calls, I'm talking about......

If the foul or Violation is called on your opponent you think it's a good call! And your opponent thought it was a bad call! Perspective.

Often times I'll hear a Coach in a High School Game, after I make a call on the opponent, shout, "Good Call!!" To which I reply, "Aren't they ALL 'Good Calls,' Coach?" Most Coaches will nod yes, or even chuckle & say, "Yes they are." One Coach said, "Yes, but some calls are more good than others!" Another said, "I wish you'd make more "Good Calls" on them and fewer on us!"

I think we've seen some different perspectives among our Brethren with some calls we've seen made in just the first 2 nites of play. It happens.

After he was called for a foul he clearly did not agree with, one of our Brethren Thursday nite looked at me and asked incredulously, "Are you serious??!!" "Brother if I blew the whistle, then YES, I am serious!!" I told my wife, Kim, about it when I dragged myself home about 10:30 after 4 hours of Refereeing. She laughed and said, "Oh they'll figure out you're serious about your calls soon enough, won't they??!!"

OK, I know you folks are reading my E-mails, but I'm starting to wonder if you are paying attention!!  (Except for Bishop Strebeck, who apparently DID read last week's message about Elder's Quorum President Ladd Smith getting us off to a late start with his lengthy opening prayer and who I understand has now banned Ladd from saying Opening Prayers in Priesthood Executive Committee meeting for his lengthy prayer habit.)

TWO ISSUES:

1. I have REPEATEDLY STATED our games are being played on a ROTATION NITE BASIS. Tuesday one week, Wednesday the next, followed by Thursday and back to Tuesday. Some have thought all games were Wednesday's. Other's thought they were all being played on Thursdays. Please notice on the schedule I send out at the top of each game nite in BOLD RED LETTERS it shows the DAY and Date of the game each week. (I did goof showing the first game start time on a couple nites as 6:20 PM. The first game of the nite is ALWAYS at 6:00 PM start.
2. Last week I asked everyone to bring a DARK colored shirt AND a WHITE shirt to the games. That way we can have one White shirted & one Dark shirted team on the floor which makes the Refereeing a lot easier. As if  Refereeing is ever easy.

If you'll remember to do that then one team does not have to be the 2nd or 3rd team to wear the white pullover jersey's I brought just in case both teams showed up in dark colors. Those jerseys do become a bit odiferous the 2nd wearing. I also won't have to listen to you complain about how bad the fellows stunk who wore the jersey before you!!

So it's up to you to decide if you want to bring 2 shirts or risk being the 2nd guy into a pullover jersey!!

I saw a number of "No Look Passes" Thursday nite! Unfortunately, most of the "No Looking" was by the fellows the pass was intended for, so the ball just flew out of bounds. The most awesome near "No Look Pass" was Jared Wright who drove toward the lane and wrapped the ball completely around his back from right to left THEN FORWARD to a teammate standing under the basket in perfect easy lay up position. Unfortunately, that team mate was looking up at the rim waiting for one of Jared's usual "Bricks" to come bouncing off to rebound and did not see the oh so pretty pass coming. (For the uninitiated B-Ball Fan, a "No Look Pass" is where the ball handler fires off a pass to a team mate that he is NOT looking at. It decoys the direction of the pass from the Defensive players.)

Brad Martineau DID manage a superb "No LOOK/ Behind the Back Pass" to a teammate for a layup. Well done Brad.

Have you ever seen Dallas Neville on the Front end of a Fast Break? No one else had either **......but  he almost pulled it off Thursday nite. Arriving at half court on the Defensive end about the time a teammate pulled down a rebound, the teammate turned, saw Dallas and fired off a long pass. Dallas caught the ball, turned and near sprinted 2 steps until he realized what he was trying to do. Then pulled up and waited for the rest of his teammates to catch up. Wise play! **(I'm sorry, but I laugh every time I re-read this section!!

Speaking of Dallas, if you are on the Defense and in the Key when Dallas makes his "Shaq Power Drive" move to the basket,  just get out of the way! There's a 30% chance he'll make it and a 100% YOU won't - remain standing, that is. The odds are NOT in your favor to try and "Take the Charge." Take the odds and get out of his way.

And THAT reminds me. I know you see the boys in the NBA "Flop" all the time in an attempt to "Draw the Foul." Most referees can see when you flopped. When you're lying down on the floor it's making you AND the referee look bad, It can get worse, too......I had a fellow in a Mesa Parks & Rec League "flopping" all nite, I warned him to stop but he couldn't resist and flopped one more time, so I called a Foul on him for Blocking. He jumped off the floor, raced to me and yelled, "How can that be blocking when I never touched him!!" I asked, "If you never touched him, why did you grunt so loud and how did you end up on your backside on the floor? Did you deliberately fall back trying to draw the foul?" The fool said, "YES I DID. You can't call Blocking on that!!" "You're right," I Said. That information changes everything. Intentionally Flopping is a Technical Foul, so your opponent gets to shoot Free Throws AND get the Ball at Mid Court AND you're gonna have to sit the bench for 2 minutes!" He did not like that at all. So Brethren, please don't flop in our league......

It's also not a good idea when you're not happy with the Referee to say, "Are you in their Ward? It sure looks like it, the way you're calling fouls." That gets you a "T" and a 2 minute trip to the bench and conversion from being a player to being a spectator. It also might mean you're not in the game to make the winning shot.

NO ONE LIKES THE REFEREE CALLS. GET USE TO IT! Sometimes the Referee isn't real happy with the call he just made, either, just like you're not happy when you fire up an "Air Ball." Mistakes happen.

Have you ever watched a B-ball game and hear the announcer's say that was a perfectly called game? Nope. Not gonna happen. Too much happens too fast for 2 or even 3 Referees to see it all. Sometimes a big fellow, and we have a few of those in our Stakes, steps between the play action and the Referee and the Referee's vision is completely blocked out just the instant a likely foul occurs and he misses the call. Too bad. Even the best Referees in the world- NBA, NFL, MLB, and NCAA often blow a call. Critical calls, too! So what are you expecting from one of our Stake Brethren who's never Refereed before? Just keep playing.

Sometimes a Referee can get caught up watching a well played game, so well played he gets distracted by the quality of the game itself and he sees something happen and thinks to himself, "Some one should have called that! Oh no, I'm THAT SOMEONE!!" The call is missed and it's too late to make it. I will confess to having been distracted a number of times in the first two nites of play and may have missed some calls. No, not by the quality of play. Don't flatter yourselves that easily. I've been trying to help the Scoreboard running. Answering multiple questions, keeping kids off the court & dealt with a myriad of other distractions while trying to referee and missed some plays. I turned my back to the game from answering Scorekeeper questions in time to see Chris Jones go head first to the floor. He looked up & asked, "What was that?" the answer- "I missed that call. My bad. Sorry!"

Now, if we could just get each Ward to provide TWO Referees for each games, as I've asked of you, it would help out a whole lot!!

We had a bit of a tiff at the end of one close game and may have had 6 players on the floor at the same time for one team. I was Refereeing with a young'in, I think from Desert Mountain Ward, who bless his heart had never Refereed a game in his life before Thursday nite. The players on the bench of the team with 5 players on floor called a Time Out just before his team mate attempted AND THEN MADE what would have been a game winning 3 point shot- had the Time Out not been called first. The Time Out canceled out the otherwise Game Winning Shot! The team with 5 players was naturally a bit miffed and expressed their dissatisfaction with the quality of the officiating.

I asked them how many Referees were they suppose to provide for the game. An astute fellow correctly answered "One."  I asked how many Referees they had provided. Since it's not hard to count to ZERO and the Black & White Referee shirts are easily identified, we had another correct answer of "NONE." "The don't make a fuss about the Refereeing," I said.

I meant it then & I mean it every nite! Each team is to provide ONE Referee and ONE Scorekeeper. If you're lucky enough to have someone not from your team graciously agree to referee in your place, be glad for it and don't make a fuss!

I've noticed the fellows that complain the most about Referee calls never seem to put on the Black & White shirt and blow the whistle themselves. It's considerably easier to "Ref" from the sidelines than it is to BE the Ref......

And since I'm hoping many of you WILL agree to do more Refereeing, let's review some common play situations and Referee philosophy-

Over the Back- It is NOT a foul for the fellow in back to be taller or jump higher then the guy in front. If the guy in back jumps higher and gets the rebound without pushing the player in front, that's OK.

Kicking the Ball- Must be INTENTIONAL with contact occurring on ANY part of the leg. If a pass accidentally hits another player's foot it is not a violation. Keep playing.

Drive to the Basket- Many Offensive players like to jump into the Defender or twist their hips into the defender to push them away OR try to draw an undeserved foul from a Referee that's not paying proper attention when they drive to the basket.  You are not allowed to do that.  I don't care if Kobe does get that call every nite. No one is paying a gazillion dollars to watch you play!! YOU can be called for a Player Control Foul if the Referee thinks your action created a disadvantage for the Defense. If, after you initiate the contact, the Defender bumps you- there's a good chance his "bump" is a natural physical reaction to your bumping him first. Unless the return bump is rather hard, I'm gonna ignore it. I figure if you pick the fight in the first place don't expect me to bail you out if you get stuck & miss the shot. Spend some more time practicing your fade away shot! And if you decide to ram a guy a lot bigger then you and you end up on the floor, get up real quick 'cause the Fast Break is going the other way and the guy you're suppose to be guarding is probably gonna make his layup at the other end of the court and I'm not waiting around to hear you complain.

Driving BETWEEN Player, End & Sidelines- I know no one is gonna believe this, so I may as well try to remember to bring my rule book Tuesday nite so you can read it for your own selves......

You see a lot of fellows try to drive the middle of the lane BETWEEN Defensive Players. They'll bounce off a couple Defenders like a pinball between flappers before heaving some half-baked shot off at the basket, falling down and crying, "Where's the Foul!?!?" The only thing "foul" was your shot attempt!!

If there is 3' or less between 2 Defenders or a Defender and an End or Sideline AND a Offensive players tries to drive between the Defenders or End / Sideline, THE RESPONSIBILITY FOR CONTACT IS ON THE OFFENSIVE PLAYER.  Now, of course that does not mean the Defenders can knock the Offender around but if you think you want to drive into that tight space and you get bumped, it's your own fault. Take the bump or go around.

 "I was pushed!!"- Yes you were. It was your own overly aggressive teammate pushing you from behind, he just won't admit it. He thought it was an Off Tackle Tailback Drive & he was just trying to push the whole pile over the goal line. He's not sorry about it either......

OR, maybe you were pushed. Ask yourself where you were AND where did the ball go? Did it rebound AWAY from you such that you did not have a likely chance of getting the rebound? Then unless the push was rather hard, or a cheap jab in the back, the Referee will ignore it. BUT he'll also be watching to see if the same player does the same push on another rebound you can get to. If you miss that rebound because of the push you'll probably get a foul call. If you get the rebound and the push did not effect the play, the push will be ignored. It's a matter of perspective, again......

What was That, Ref?- (Usually uttered after some players comes blasting thru the lane, shovels up an off balance shot & absurd shot, loses his balance & crashes to the floor). I'm not sure what that was. Clumsy, maybe? I'm just trying not to laugh......

I know the Rules, you idiot!- My, at the time soon to be Son in Law- Jay Rosenhan, (along with my daughter, Emily & my wife, Kim) attended a High School Game that I was Refereeing. A female fan sitting near them complained rather loudly (Most complainers ARE loud......) "That Ref doesn't know the rules!!" When I called a Charging/ Player Control Foul on a player from the fan's team when the player crashed into a defender standing under the basket. Jay asked, "What do you mean?" The fan replied,"The Defensive player was standing under the basket. I watch the NBA every Sunday and I know the rules!! It's not charging when that happens!!" Jay informed the fan that the rules for High School and the NBA are different. "No they're not! You're an idiot!!" She shouted. Jay wisely decided it was not worth the aggravation of arguing with a fool. The rules for the NBA and High School ARE DIFFERENT. If your personal rules knowledge is based on the NBA, we are playing High School Rules, don't hesitate to ask me about it if you have a question about a rule. I'm always happy to explain.

I'm attaching my Quiz Answers to this missive. You might want to take a look for fun and test your rules expertise!!

An Experiment- We only play about 36 minutes, so waiting for a whistle to blow for substitutions can be a drag. I was experimenting Thursday nite & will again TUESDAY nite with "International Rules" or Soccer/ Hockey type substitutions. A Sub can enter at any time WITH OUT waiting for the Referee to bring them into the court with these provisions.

1.  Yell "SUB" REAL LOUD so everyone knows someone new is coming into the game.
2. You cannot go run to your basket, park underneither it and have a teammate heave a long pass for a "Cherry Picking" easy basket.

Yes, I know this may create some confusion about what person a player may be guarding, but since I haven't seen much "guarding" going on so far, I hope it's not a big problem & helps get more people into the games for more playing time.

This is NOT the NBA. YOU are not in the NBA- Is a note I tape to the Scorer's Table each nite (Click here to see the whole note). Actually in some ways you are BETTER than the NBA. The NBA plays 48 minutes of "Regulation Clock" where the clock stops every time the Referee blows a whistle. a 48 minute game takes 1 1/2 hours of Game Action Time to play and the NBA averages around 100 points per game. That works out on my trusty HP12 real Estate calculator to be 1.11 points per minute scored.

We played approximately 36 minutes of running clock IF prior games end on time, and IF the players for the next game manage to wander to the Scorer's Table end of the court in a reasonable amount of time to participate in the Opening Prayer and IF there's no long winded High Priests or Elder's Quorum Presidency members offer the Opening Prayers......

We've had SEVERAL teams score OVER  50 points. One game was 58-57!!

That's an incredible 1.61 points per minutes and FAR more fast paced than the NBA manages!!

Yes, the NBA plays a longer court, but they're younger, bigger, faster and get up & down their court in about the same time it takes your Brethren to get up & down our smaller Stake center Courts and they have a higher shooting percentage.

As crazy as it sounds. As awful as some of the shot you are attempting are. As many shots as you throw up (with a lower shooting average than the NBA you have to take MORE shots per minute to score). As unbelievable as are some things you are trying to do......you are out performing the NBA!!! Good Job!! 

QCNS Men's B-Ball Report 8/10/11

Brethren (& Sisteren that also read these inane missives.)

We survived our FIRST nite of Men's B-Ball......and no one got hurt! I'm sure there were more than a few fellows with stiff and sore muscles the next day, tho!

Thank you for your participation! We had plenty of players show up every game--- except for Rittehouse Ward which only managed 4 for the 9:20 PM game.

And it was a fast paced nite playing SIX games! We almost fell behind schedule at the first game when someone called on Ladd Smith to offer the opening prayer......He's got a lot to be thankful for! We DO want to be reverent, but you've only got 40 minutes to play......so we need "Speed Prayers" like my kids offer at breakfast on school days when they're running late, not Stake Conference with a visiting General Authority sort of prayer.

The Sisteren with children apparently had some inkling of what to expect from their hubbies skill level and took to the stage area to offer as much protection from flying bodies & errant shots or passes as possible. Wise choice! There was lots of stuff flying around!

We saw an interesting variety of activity displayed by the Brethren. Many demonstrated exceptional abilities to attempt shots from positions, angles and contorted postures never before witnessed (or contemplated.) Perhaps, the most remarkable shot of the nite was the graying Yancey Littler of Crismon Ward who, while shuffling across the key, shoveled the ball somewhere behind him at around knee level, (I'm NOT saying he lost his dribble or fumbled the ball- I'm just telling you what I saw, and managed to wing a Kareem Abdul Jabbar hook shot from somewhere behind his right ear and banked it in!! I should only have counted for 1 point since he had no clue what he was doing and was such a half baked attempt...... but the Official Scorer gave him 2 full points. His teammates mostly have him a bunch of guff for the effort!

Give Yancey enough time & he'll claim to have won a "Most shots made in a minute" competition at Queen Creek High when he was a student there and received free tickets to a Suns game & some Suns stuff. I Didn't think the Suns had been organized yet way back when Yancey was in High School.....

Bro Shupe of the Rittenhouse War made a similar wacky, white eyed, Hail Mary shot. I asked him if he knew what he was aiming at. He replied, "Of course! Don't you remember, I'm Super Shupe!" It's gonna be a LONG season I can tell already!

A comment about scoring...... you'll remember a prior report stated EACH team was to provide a Scorer & a Referee. We had a bit of a dispute about the final score in one game. As you might expect, it was the team that did NOT provide a Score that disputed the end of the game score...... They lost 51-48 . With just a couple minutes to go they were down 48-43 and felt they'd outscored the other team in the last few minutes.  If you don't provide a Scorekeeper don't fuss about the score! If you ask a Deacon to be your Scorekeeper don't even bother to ask me to check the score. If you ask a wife who has kids with her to keep score just be very glad she bothered to mark any score down at all, keep quiet regardless of the score and give her a BIG THANK YOU! And don't forget, these games aren't "Official Games" which don't count for anything anyway. EVERY team will play in our tournament, These games are just to get you into some resemblance of playing condition and help you remember where the basket hangs and how to dribble more than your food & beverages.

A player asked if we were going to keep track of INDIVIDUAL scores......ONLY if your Team Scorekeeper keeps track. Otherwise keep track of your own score in your own head. Then add 10 points to that like you usually do when you recount your splendid exploits to others.

In addition to a variety of activity, on display was an interesting variety of apparel. I'm most concerned about those guys that showed up with shoes that matched their shorts or shirt colors. Perhaps just a bit too much of a fashion sense operating here...... Fortunately only 1 intrepid fellow showed up in U of A logoed apparel.

A few brethren clearly have serious hops. (For you Sisteren. that means they can really jump high- like a frog or cricket can really hop.) One fellow from Cortina 3rd Ward was still up in the air, I think when I shut off the lights. Most other Brethren demonstrated a vertical leap in the 3"-6" range. The leaps were not as impressive as the landings.

I was asked how many players are required to start a game. Knowing Rittenhouse can only scrape up 4 players, let's say a team must have at least 4 players to start a game and not be considered forfeit. (I'm not sure how you forfeit games that don't count, but play along with me here anyway......). Unless Brent Slade shows up all by himself that is. He has enough real game that he can play One on FIVE and beat most teams I saw last nite. So, unless your team is Brent Slade, you need 4 players to be an "Official, 'It don't count for beans' game."

And THANK YOU to those daring brethren that ventured forth to don the Black & White Referee Shirts & hung a whiste around their necks to Referee!!!  Now that you've done that I think you may realize the game looks A LOT DIFFERENT when you're on the floor and YOU are the one that's supposed to call the fouls & violations, doesn't it?

As you might imagine we had a few comments about the officiating that took place as well as the decision to have players referee their own games & teammates.

Look folks, there is not a "right" answer to the Referee situation.

If we let the Defense "Call their Own Fouls," there are players who insist they've never committed a foul in their lives- even when the other player is lying in his own blood on the floor! "I never touched him!" is a common refrain. Usually followed by flapping of arms & hopping up & down like a spoiled sissy.

If the Offense "Calls their Own Fouls," we have brethren so concerned about not offending anyone that they won;t call a foul when it's their own blood pool spreading across the floor.

Blood on the floor slows down the game, so I think we need guys in Black & White to attempt to limit the mayhem.

We either Referee our own games, OR we assign Wards to provide Referee at either of the prior to or following their games. I tried that in other Stakes and it don't work!

Fortunately, recently married Jay Rosenhan & former Nauvoo Station member, his non-member friends Jason, and some yougin's from the Nauvoo Station Ward recently moved to Arizona, all volunteered to Referee several of the games, which let the Brethren playing those games off the hook!

QCNS 2011 Softball Championship FINAL REPORT

It's tough to REPEAT as Champion in anything, Yet apparently not so tough to repeat as the perennial Stake Runner Up in softball......

Not wanting the Relief Society Sisteren to feel they have any advantage over the brethren I set up my traditional Game Nite Table. A Patriotic table cloth, some of my wife's hand painted firecrackers & other patriotic crafts, a photo & some potted flowers. Someone decided the table also needed to be adorned with a pile of sunflower seeds. I later found out it was Cortina 2nd Ward Lori Ann McCluskey's kid, running amok as usual......

But first the games-

Photo by Jodola via Flicker, available and modified  under a Creative Commons Attribution License

6:30 PM Cortina 3rd VS Nauvoo Station

You gotta love the enthusiasm of Cortina 3rd Ward showing up in Black & White T-Shirts emblazoned "Cortina 3rd Ward DOGS." Especially since it meant Travis Padilla wouldn't be wearing his usual puke orange Texas Longhorn "Fork 'Em" shirt......

It's also tough trying to be a "cool & nonchalant" Young Adult Male. One fellow strode up to a small gathering of team mates & single sisters, causally tossing his ball glove on the table with an "I'm so cool I can do a 'No Look' toss and land my glove on that table" look on his face. The table is about 4' wide. He missed it, hitting the far edge and looked in horror as his "I'm so Mr Cool I can lob my glove anywhere & make it stick" look faded as fast as his glove bounced off the table. So tough......There was a new player for Nauvoo Station. A recently baptized fellow names Ryan. Glad to see him playing. Playing Church Softball opened the door to me for church membership, much the the chagrin of many I'm sure!

Game time was a few minutes away & Nauvoo Station had only 7 players. They asked if a couple of the sisters who'd come to cheer could play. Even tho I knew it would IMPROVE the skill level of the team I said "Sure," figuring if Cortina 3rd Ward had any illusions about prevailing as our Stake Champions they ought to be able to beat a team with girls on it! Mind you, Cortina 3rd Ward was absent it's best player. The power hitting & master fielding 3rd Baseman, Skye Fagrell, who being a Seminary Teacher @ Corona Del Sol High School, felt compelled to attend a mandatory Church Education Services meeting. And one of the sisters that wanted to play was the former Higley High Girls Fast Pitch All Star power slugger, Pitcher Jill Rosenhan. Turned out 10 players finally were present and the sister's participation was not deemed necessary. Silly boys......

The game started with Nauvoo Station's Yoshi ripping a rocket at 3rd base that careened off the 3rd Baseman's glove and still had enough juice on it that it took a jagged hop & scooted past the left fielder to the fence. Yoshi, showing exceptional- and here to for not seen speed- raced to 3rd base. The Short Stop's relay throw was short armed into the ground after about 25' & rolled another 50' to 2nd base......It did not look like it was gonna be Cortina 3rd Ward's finest game. The inning ended with Nauvoo Station leading 9 - 0, with the only thing looking good for Cortina Ward was their shirts.

Sam Garlock, arguably Nauvoo Station's best player- I say arguable since you could make a good argument that someone else was Nauvoo Station's best player, but we won't get into that- had to leave for what he termed a business meeting but assured his team he's be back for the Championship Game. Famous last words! Jill Stepped in & took his place.

Cortina 3rd Ward batters seemed baffled by Grant Garlock's pitching motion, (Yes, that's Sam's brother. The Garlock boys are constantly bickering about which of them is the best looking, It's an argument neither can win, especially if someone else is thrown into the comparison......) anyway, Grant had his odd, halting motion, he sticks his glove straight out toward the batter, bends his knees like he's about to genuflect then rises in slow motion to release an underhand shot put like pitch that seems to float toward the plates at a speed that would not even register on a Radar Gun. Grant had commented earlier to one of the Nauvoo Station Sisters that she had not been to any of their games long enough to see him make any "good plays." There's a reason for that & it's not because she hadn't been staying to watch the full games, either!

2nd inning score 12 - 0. Even the "Dogs" shirts were starting to lose their bark.

The 3rd inning did not get much better for Cortina 3rd Ward as Scott Potter was called out looking at a 3rd strike that barley nipped the mat. One of those pitches that the Umpire has to get on his knees & look at the dirt imprint of the ball to see if it grazed the mat. The Umpire was Scott's teammate. Scott just smiled & walked back to the dug out showing exemplary sportsmanship regardless of whatever he was thinking in his mind on the long walk back. Then he had to turn around to Umpire while the fellow that just called him Out batted. On a similar close call Scott called a ball on a close pitch that also would have been a 3rd strike. Fortunately for that batter it was called a ball as he hit an Inside Park Home Run on the next pitch. BOTH pitches were correct calls, by the way.

Score after 3 innings 12 - 3.

A Cortina 3rd Ward Sister left saying she had a Relief Society Activity to attend that promised to be more exciting than the hitting exhibition the Cortina 3rd Warders were putting on,

Up to this point Nauvoo Station's power hitter Ole had pounded out his 2 hits of a least 300'+. Trouble was they were 300' UP and only 150' out. Cortina 3rd Ward knew once Ole started turning around and bouncing balls off the fence that their nite would only get worse!

Then came the 4th inning lead as Cortina 3rd Ward came up to bat. Now, I don't know how exciting that sister's Relief Society Activity got, but the Cortina 3rd Ward batting got REAL interesting at this point! They's score's 10 straight runs before their 1st out and eventually score 16 runs to forge a 19-12 lead.

Nauvoo Station answered with 2 runs in the 5th inning. (Even Jill had a base hit to equal Sam's productivity at the plate for that game, so there was nothing lost in Sam's absence!)

The score was now 19-14 with a few minutes of game time remaining. Nauvoo Station had to close out Cortina 3rd Ward to get another chance to bat and pull out the game.

It was not to be. Austin McGilvary (or is it McCalvary or MacGillivary?) his team knows who I mean, Austin, who IS the Calvary when they need a "big hit", laced out his 3rd hit of the nite- another inside park home run to seal the victory as time ran out for Nauvoo Station.

And several Cortina 3rd Ward cell phones popped out to speed dial Skye Fagrell- "We won! Championship Game @ 8:30 PM. CAN YOU MAKE IT??" "Tell the CES Director you're sick & need to go home. Say anything, just get here by 8:30 PM!!"

7:30 PM Defending Stake Champions Ironwood VS perennial Stake Runner Ups Cortina 2nd Ward

I thought the Ramada roof might fall down as some Cortina 2nd Ward wives who normally shun the ballpark for Bunko or Book Club strolled in- Lori Ann McCluskey & Cheryl Lynn Blinston in particular. Heather Roberts (who has stopped by to cheer her husband a couple times this year), Margaret Marques (whose husband was playing his 1st game in a few years) & Heidi Ann Lambert (who was a frequent attender) also showed up. Even that Whiting woman managed to show & stay for the game instead of dropping her kids off expecting ME to babysit them. The sisters said they wouldn't miss the game for a anything! No, that's not a statement of support like you're thinking. What they meant was they showed up to gab and wouldn't "miss it" if they missed any of the game action. In other words, they were oblivious to the actual game and did not miss what they missed. Make sense now?

Ironwood went scoreless in the 1st inning while Cortina scored 2 runs with Kyle McCluskey hitting an inside the park home run. Kyle was motoring his fastest & barely had enough gas in his tank to make it all the way around to score. Maybe it was his gas that propelled him down the home base path to score......but he did score.

Undaunted, Ironwood scored 6 in the 2nd inning while Corina 2nd was blanked. Ironwood added 6 more in the 3rd inning.

About this time a 5 gallon paint bucket showed up near the Ramada surrounded by several small boys each emptying water bottles into the bucket. Some of the kids were the notorious Martineau Gang of boys, so I suspect one of them pulled the bucket out of his pocket. There were 2 kids at the drinking fountain filling up more water bottles. I brought the situation to the attention of the nearest sisters to warn them of possible water splashing their way & to watch out for a kid going head first into the bucket. Then I walked away.

Cortina 2nd was blanked for the next 3 innings. Sometimes one team gets all the good bounces and the other the bad breaks. Being on the odd end of the breaks was Cortina 2nd Ward's fate this nite! A shot by Grady Nix, hit so hard it left the Game Ball lopsided, went right at the left fielder. A little trajectory & it would have been a Home Run. With an infield as lumpy as ours it would seem impossible every ground ball could take a hop to the ironwood infielders, but they did. Not even Rocky's frying pan like glove could miss a good ground ball that nite!!

A 5 run rally in the 5th breathed new life into Cortina 2nd Ward but Ironwood was relentless scoring in each of the last couple innings to pound out a 19-13 victory which garnered Cortina 2nd Ward their 4th straight Stake RUNNER'S UP Status. The Cortina 2nd Ward Team motto is "If we can't be handsome, we can at least consistently win 2nd Place!!"

8:30 PM Championship Game Ironwood VS Cortina 3rd'

As with Mighty Casey's NO SHOW at the plate in the historic poem, there would be no Mighty
Skye Fagrell to aid the Coritna 3rd Warder's vie for the Stake Championship. I guess CES meetings are a lot like Stake General Priesthood Meetings- ain't no "end of meeting" time set. (I'm sure Sistern with 8:00 AM Sacrament Setting just love it when Stake General Priestood Meeting ends @ 7:40 AM and their husbands have not been around to help get the kids ready for church. Those are the days when you see the most "interesting" outfits on the boys & girls at church, aren't they?

BJ Blinston & Grady Nix of the Cortina 2nd Ward graciously volunteered to Umpire the Championship game so none of the Cortina 3rd OR Ironwood Warders would have to face their brethren in Sunday "Go To Meetin'" circumstances and be glowered at 'cause they called a team mate out on a close call and cost the team the game. They had more than a couple close plays that could have easily strained inter-ward relationships and made the right call on each one. THANKS GUYS for a Major League quality called game!!

Young Love......sigh......Sierra (sp?) Brendlinger, Pres Smith's daughter & recently married to James- who was on a full ride baseball scholarship to a 4 year college until he snapped his collar bone- needs to "man up" when she comes to watch James play. James sludded into 2nd base & picked up a itsy bitsy scrape with about as much blood as a Show Low mosquito would draw and she started freaking out that James needed to go the the Urgent care ASAP. "Don't you see all the blood?" She moaned. "Uhhhh, what blood?" "THAT blood!" She wailed. I said to her, "I don't see any blood. Oh wait, you're calling THAT blood? That ain't hardly even a scratch! Play Ball!!!"

Ironwood picked up right where they left off from the 7:30 game scoring 3 runs in the 1st inning. Cortina 3rd answered with 4 runs, including a inside the park Home Run by Scott Potter on a line drive OVER the left fielder's head. When asked if he was sure the bat he used was legal he said it was. The bat momentarily & mysteriously disappeared so it couldn't be checked for the proper ASA Legal Bat stamp but since he's a lawyer I decided to believe him. Do you folks think that was a mistake- believing a lawyer? Anyway, the run counted.

Back & forth they went for 3 inning neither team managing to mount more then a 1 run lead.

Curtis Cooke plunged to the ground in a near 3 way collision in right center field on a Texas League that dropped for a base hit. He had to be helped from the field with a strained hip (whatever that is) but somehow mustered the strength to bat on his next turn up. He snapped out a base hit, got to 1st base & promptly called for a Pinch Runner. (Why is it called a Pinch Runner, anyway?)

Cortina 3rd tried to pound the left side of the infield until they figured out Short Stop James Brendlinger really DID have Big League range & Scoop skills.

A 15 run explosion by Cortina 3rd in the 4th & 5th innings rang the death knell for Ironwood. Even Bishop Lovell got in on the scoring act, showing flashes of former speed. It must be noted, however, that the Bishop takes a lot longer to get up to speed these days and when he does get up to full speed it's a whole lot harder for him to stop !!

23 runs in the last 3 innings by Cortina 3rd ward paved the way to a 32-23 win.

As they walked out of the ball park Sierra Brendlinger was heard saying to James, "We need to go see my dad about you wound right now on our way home. He's a doctor. He'll know if it's serious or not!" Welcome to married life James......

Side Bar:

2 Gloves, 1 Adult & 1 kids sized were left behind. Both are black & tan. A green & black LEGAL bat was also left.

1 small brown stuffed teddy bear is very lonely, too.

Basketball Update:

Only Crismon Ward's, Bishop Andreason, has confirmed his Ward will cooperate with the PROPOSED Stake Men's Basketball Schedule. There are 3 other Wards that meet in the Stake Center that need to agree to cooperate before we can play a Men's Basketball Program. If you want to play B-Ball & your ward meets in the Stake Center it may be propitious for you to talk to your Bishop......

I realize Bishops, YM & YW leaders have been busy prepping for Girl's Camp, BSA Geronimo & Aaronic Priesthood Encampment and may not have had the time to ponder the Proposed Schedule VS their Ward calendars. Hopefully with Encampment finishing up next week we'll soon get the desired approvals. After all, we are talking about Church Basketball here, a tradition dwarfed only by General Conference & Mormon Tabernacle Choir performances in importance to the fabric of the church!

Andres' Barreto, Ironwood Elder's Quorum President sent me an e-mail stating the Bishops are all just too busy to worry about the Proposed Basketball Schedules and that HE was giving approval on their behalf. Nice try. His ward doesn't even meet at the Stake Center and is not involved in the approval process......

In anticipation of approvals, however, and since you brethren will be given the opportunity to help Referee games and will need to be up to speed on rules, I've attached
a 17 question B-Ball Rules Quiz for you to test your Rules knowledge. No, I'm not including the answers- yet. You'd just peek at the answers on questions you're stumped on and say that's what you were planning on answering anyway and pretend you knew the answer! I'll let you ponder the question a few days & then send out the answers to keep you all honest.

You'll become much better acquainted with each other as you Referee. It's a fun and interesting activity. And very amusing how what you call is perceived by others. I went from Refereeing one of our Arizona State High School Basketball Championship Games in February at the Glendale Arena (presumably only the best referees in the State are assigned Championship games) to being pronounced the "Worst Referee I've seen in 25 years of coaching" by a High School Coach on Saturday's ASU Herb Sendek Basketball Camp. I'm sure whatever referee was last pronounced "the Worst Ref Ever" by that coach feels a great sense of relief that I've now taken that burden off his shoulders......and yes, the coach was ejected....



Related Posts

QCNS Softball Report 4.30.11: QCNS's First Co-Ed Softball Game

QCNS Softball Report 5.5.11

QCNS Softball Report 5.5.11

Brethren,Well, Thursday was another nite of enjoying a Chipotle Steak Bowl and book reading for me.....

6:00 PM Game- 5:59 PM I hear the loud pinging of a diesel engine shutting down, 2 doors slam and one voice is heard, as the empty ball field is surveyed, "This doesn't look promising!"

It wasn't and it didn't get any better.......

One of those 2 fellows fessed up that on Sunday their "fearless leader" announced the wrong nite (Friday) AND wrong game time! LOOK, I ain't your mommy. You gots to be able to read on your own!!

6:40 PM Game- Yoshi (It's always Yoshi isn't it!??) and a couple other Nauvoo Station Single Warders, including some nubile sisters, came dragging in. One eager fellow asked a sister if she was going to play. "I play the field, but not the out field!" was the response. I think she said something to one of the other sisters to the effect the fellow might be able to crack her Starting Line Up, but I couldn't be too sure I heard it right. Yoshi was gonna try pitching until someone else elbowed him off the pitcher's mound. Yoshi walked off saying something about how he was better at "pitching woo" than softball's anyway....... You gotta love Yoshi's optimism!!!

7:20 Game- This one was a No / No. For the sistern- in Baseball parlance that means a No Runs and No Hits game by a pitcher and is truly an outstanding accomplishment. In our case it just means both teams were No Shows!!

8:00 PM and 9:20 PM games - Hardly anyone showed and I don't remember anything noteworthy happening.

Image by Seth Werkheiser via Flicker, available under a Creative Commons Attribution License

TOURNAMENT FORMAT:

With our phenomenal participation I'm left to ponder how to run a Stake Tournament or if we even need a Stake Tournament to crown a Stake Champion when no one will even remember who it was by next season and our Stake may have seen Wards Split and even some Stake boundary changes soon. That's just a rumor. You didn't hear it from me!

We have the ball field reserved 5 more nites. I've heard a number of suggestions (some more worthwhile than others) about things we can do. Young Men want to play. Sisters Want to Play. I have to listen to my 17 year old daughter whine almost every day about why can't she play Co-Ed, "because I'm almost 18"....

So, trying to make everyone sort of happy and break up the monotony of watching almost nothing happen for 4 hours every Thursday nite, here's what I am proposing:

3 nites of Co-Ed softball (That would be the 1st 3 Nites)

1 Nite of "Father and Son" any Melchizedek Priesthood and Young Men, Teacher's Quorum and Older, can play.

1 Nite of "Mother and Daughter" Any Relief Society and Young Women, Mia Maids and Older, can play.

This allows almost everyone in the Stake to get in at least one nite of softball before we shut down the lights and close out the Cooler Weather Spring Softball Season failed experiment.

Let me know what you think and I may make adjustments on the fly.

For now, the FIRST TWO Nites WILL DEFINITELY BE Co-Ed. I can always switch the 2nd Nite to the normal 2nd nite of a Winner and Non-Winners Double Elimination format if I get lots of support for a tournament.

I tried to matchup possible rivalries for the first nite. Not that I want to see any fight, or someone pouring root beer on an apposing Ward player or fan. I just want to see some good natured ribbing going on and folks that use to be friends in the same Ward but now hardly ever see each other in the new Ward alignments have a chance to say hello. Some folks can play ball. Some can bring food for a picnic under the Ramada & some can just let their kids run wild. I might be fun before it gets too hot!

Vic Pear
Men's Sports

PS- Nubile: Attractive and of marriageable condition or age. There is no corresponding single word for eligible young men, which may say something about the actual eligibility of the single adult males of our stake......

QCNS Softball Report 4.30.11: QCNS's First Co-Ed Softball Game

Brethren and Sistern,

A famous college Basketball coach (I can't recall his name) who had coached both Men's and Women's teams was asked by a Sports Writer what the difference was between coaching Men and Women. The reply, "The Time Out huddles smell better with the Women!" It definitely smelled better last night at the ball park than it has for some time......

Image by Garrett Speed via Flicker

Well, Co-Ed softball ALMOST worked..... and those sisters that played DID raise the level of performance!

Everyone who showed up for the 6:00 and 6:40 PM games were couples. Too bad only THREE couples showed up!

Even the ONE couple for the 6:00 PM didn't make it by game time. Fortunately, I had my routine Game Nite Chipotle Steak Bowl and a Robert Ludlum book to keep me company. (Ludlum wrote the Bourne Identity series).

I take that back.... Just remembered Yoshi from Nauvoo Station made it for the 6:40 PM game saying, "Anyone who was somebody from Nauvoo Station was probably at some Young Adult Closing Activity tonight." "So, Yoshi, what does it mean since you are here and not at the Young Adult activity?" He shrugged, mumbled something about being too old or too mature for that sort of thing and left.....

I was surprised Ole & his fiance from Nauvoo Station did not show. She's been bragging all season on how SHE was the better ball player between the two of them and if we'd just let ladies play she'd prove it! Could it be Ole knows it and wasn't man enough to show up and let the truth be known?

BUT THE CRISMON WARD CAME THRU BIG TIME FOR THE 7:20 PM GAME!! It looked like a real Family Nite at the ball park with all the kids running around. Must have had 12-14 people from Crismon Ward plus a few spectators showed up. Those chauvinist boys from the Former Stake Champion Rittenhouse Wards only had 5-6 players and not a Sister among them!! Even the Monson guy was a no show. (I'm barely holding back a comment about how Monson would have fit right in 'cause he plays like a girl. Hmmm...... maybe I didn't hold back enough?)

A few couples from Desert Mountain showed up for the 8:00 PM game. No one, as usual, from Vineyard. The Desert Mountain folks joined in with those folks from Crismon & Rittenhouse that stayed and continued the 7:20 game.

Prior to starting the 9:20 PM game, for which my Cortina 2nd ward was a complete No Show, it was rumored Skye Fagrell of Cortina 3rd ward, he of legendary prowess might show up. A monster fielder at the "Hot Corner" and a power hitter at the plate, Skye has been absent for some time from our venue. Suddenly, like a ghost or as those players from The Field of Dreams movie that eerily emerged from the rows of corn, Skye came gliding thru the Ramada onto the field. The enthusiasm of his teammates held no bounds as he stepped into the dug out!! Too bad not enough people showed or could stay from the prior game to get the boy a real game.....

Comments thru out the evening were rather interesting.

When asked if a particular sister was coming the reply was "No, She said she doesn't sweat on purpose!"

When asked if a sister that was present was going to play she replied, "No, I might break my nails". "But they can grow back, can't they?" "No, these are fake nails!" "Then you can just go by new ones, can't you?"  Hearing the exchange I said, "You ladies have been badgering me to let you play for 2 seasons, now you've got your chance and you aren't gonna play!!??" A nearby husband, not necessarily her husband, says, "Yeah!" She grabbed a glove and started warming up....

Another sister showed up in flip flops and had to borrow her brother's tennis shoes since he'd brought cleats to play in.

A sister, NOT playing, after seeing her husband botch a routine fly yelled out, "What's with you!! You choke every time I come to see you play!" No Sisters, that's not the sort of positive reinforcement your tender husbands need to hear. "Oh, nice try honey!!" or "You'll get it next time, sweet heart!" are more appropriate. Perhaps the, "Run baby, run!!" that one sister yelled to her not too fleet of foot husband one night would even be better.

Those sisters that played seemed to enjoy themselves. Some said they'd like to play more. So.......
In MAY we go back to THURSDAY Nites with the 1st game being May 5th.

We WILL PLAY CO-ED again that nite.

I'm trying to match up possible rivalries between Wards that have been divided out from each other. I switched the game times around so those wards that had early games last nite have later games next Thursday night... EXCEPT Crismon Ward showed up so well for their 7:20 PM game, I left them at that same time slot. I did hear some talk Friday nite that some Wards had been late getting the word out to people (even tho I'd warned everyone a week prior that we might play Co-Ed and TUESDAY I sent the E-Mail confirming it) and that more sisters would have played IF they'd known. So please spread the word at church tomorrow.

It was Red Skelton who quipped about his wife, "We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops" So Brethren remember, if you're at the ball park with your wife, she can't be off shopping....

See you all Next Thursday Nite.

QCNS Softball Report 4.29.11: Co-Ed Softball- Why not!!??

Brethren & Sistern,

Why not!!??

My son, Dallin, tells me he & his wife play a Co-Ed softball League in Mesa South Stake, so apparently Co-Ed Softball is not prohibited in the General Handbook. And since no one from our Stake has said no, yet......I figure why not let our Stake play Co-Ed Softball, too, for ONE night? Surely, knowing other Stakes are playing Co-Ed Softball our Stake wouldn't want to look all fuddy duddy and say no, would they?

It may even improve the level of play......

To allow every Ward & each sister an equal opportunity to play I have REVISED the schedule for THIS Friday nite so that all 12 Ward will play on our abbreviated game schedule. No Sense in over taxing the physical exertion for the Sistern on their 1st nite playing!

The 8 Teams previous scheduled are, as near as possible, scheduled at or close to their original game slots so as not to interfere with any prior babysitting or other planning for the nite.

Please pass the word along to the Sistern of your Ward, (Sistern must be at least 18 years old, single or married and not attending Young Women's. They are reminded we have a no swearing rule- unless it involves a J. Golden Kimball story.

GROUND RULES: Teams do NOT need to have the same number of men & women playing on the same team. Opposing teams do NOT need to have the same number of women playing as the opposing team. SO......one team might be ALL MALE (that will probably be the former Stake Champion chauvinists from Rittenhouse!!) and the other team might have 1 or more ladies. I don't care. Whoever shows up and wants to play, plays!! If teams are short handed, players, men or women, from other Wards present may fill in.

Hopefully this gets a full schedule of games THIS FRIDAY nite!

Vic Pear

Stake Men's Sports Something or other & Unofficial Co-Ed Softball Coordinator

PS- Artie Whiting sang a splendid solo in the Cortina 2nd Ward Sacrament Meeting last Sunday. He most definitely WAS on pitch! His warbling reminded me of that Michael Buubbelay fellow......

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