It's Not The Spirit That Constrains Me, It's My Wife - Men's Basketball Report QCNS 8/31/11

Intrepid Brethren of the Hardwoods,

A fellow commented to me that he thought my weekly reports were amusing but they were a bit verbose......I can only respond that I feel as the Book of Mormon writers who said they were "constrained by the spirit" and could only include 100th of the things that happened. Actually it's not the spirit that constrains me, it's my wife, Kim who reads my missives before I send them out who says, "You're not really going to say that, are you? Sometimes I listen and am constrained. Other times......BUT I still can only include the 100th part of the stuff that happens each week.

Here's my Report-

It's good that we pray before each game as most of those shots I see being thrown up don't have a prayer of going in.

Remember, we play defense with out feet- NOT our hips, knees, elbows, & hands. In verbally warning player not to stick his knee out he replied, "Vic, you see too much!" Yep he was guilty as warned!! So please demonstrate your defensive prowess by getting into proper positions and beating the Offensive player to the spot.

The Offensive Player with the ball cannot push off or jump into/onto the Defensive Player to create space to fire off a haphazard shot. You fellows that love to streak off on a Fast Break or drive to the lane remember that principle when you are bouncing off Defenders, who have legal guarding positions and are maintaining the Principle of Verticality, like a pinball. YOU initiated the contact, so there's NO foul on the Defense. Youse take youse chances when you blast into the pack like that and the chances of my calling a foul on the Defense are not good unless they whack you really hard!

The Principle of Verticality DOES allow a player to jump STRAIGHT up in the air. He is not required to keep one or Both feet on the floor.

I was pleased that many teams DID arrive with WHITE and DARK shirts. Now if we can define "Dark" as really dark (blue, black, ect)- not Gray & Pastel yellows) it would help. You think it doesn't matter, but when the Referee is looking in  swarm of players and seeing multiple colored shirts it's hard to tell if a player is being bumped by a team mate or a opponent. Wearing distinctive shirts makes Referee calls easier. (Yes, I'll consider "Doger Blue" or BYU sissy blue as sufficiently distinct to be a Dark Color. Texas Longhorn puke orange is still banned.)

I notice the supposed "best" Referees are still eschewing actually Refereeing during games and seem content to try to Referee as they play. I'm not play attention to any of their "helpful" suggestions during games. If you want to Referee, put the shirt on.

A big THANK YOU to those who have been volunteering to Referee. You're making good calls!

The hapless Nauvoo Station boys had a sizable cheering section at their game. Or was it a jeering section? Hard to tell with all the hilarity that goes along with watching Nauvoo Station antics. One of the Garlock boys scored a basket in front of the Sistern that the opposing team felt should have been called as a traveling. As Nauvoo Station was on the short end of an in process 70 - 32 drubbing by Cortina 3rd ward, I figured it was better to let the Travel go so he could "look good" for the ladies. Poor boy must be at least 26 years old by now and fully qualified as what J. Golden Kimball described as "Any man 26 year or older and not married is a menace to society." We've got to do something about enhancing his appeal to the marriage eligible sistern of the Stake so he can get married before they ordain him a High Priest to be with Brethren of similar age......so I let the Travel Violation go.....

"Holding a basketball" by Your Best Digs via Flickr

Matt (No last name listed) of the Cortina 2rd ward was the "High Scorer" of the night based on 2 criteria.

1. Someone from Cortina 3rd Ward kept individual scores and showed Matt as pouring in 24 points
2. No other team kept individual scores

Not only did Matt put on an impressive display of Offensive skills I'm guessing he also did not have time to do any Refereeing in his game or help keep score......then again, maybe he DID help keep score which explains his 24 points?

Jeff pumped in 15 points while Todd & Ned each netted 10 points in Cortina 3rd Ward's victory.

Cortina 1st Ward slipped by Desert Mountain 46 - 44 in a spirited game.

Ranch & Vineyard quit keeping score @ 28 - 14, or was that the FINAL score??!!

Ironwood Crossing smacked their arch rival Ironwood 55- 38. Jon Mott proved he can at least hit the back board on a 3 point attempt......can't say much else, but it does create rebounding opportunities for his teammates who all turn & race to the basket for the rebounding positions as soon as they see the gleam in his eye as he starts hin unorthodox shooting motion....

Remington heights 44 points fell just short of Rittenhouse which scored 47 points even tho Jeff Monson has yet to make an appearance for Rittenhouse Ward yet this season.

And the GAME OF THE NIGHT was Dark 60- White 56. That's all the team identification there was on the Score Sheet.

Bro Mortensen from one of the Cortina Wards managed to get his wife, Pres Smith's daughter, back to watch his game. She came the first night & hadn't been back since. Said something about the games being "mildly good entertainment" but not better then watching "What Not To Wear"......as she left the first nite!

And have you noticed Ladd Smith shows up in a different pair of shoes every week? ALL are blinding florescent/ neon colors. Ladd's wife says she is NOT responsible for his wardrobe or shoe selections......

We will take a 2 week break while the Stake YW play a Volleyball Tournament.

Our Tournament will commence Thursday September 29th. That should allow time for aches & pains to be soothed and a few player to return from Injured Reserve.

HOUSEKEEPING-

Teams playing the 6:00 PM game can help speed up the game start by pushing the chair racks off the Cultural Hall floor into the Overflow area as they arrive. Please push them way to the back so there is plenty of room for spectators, rowdy kids & NBA scouts to view games from the Overflow area.

Teams playing the 9:20 PM games could please push the chair racks back into the Cultural Hall near the stage after their game.

Proposed 2012 Schedule-

The Queen Creek Stake, which hosts the Softball Field HAS APPROVED our use of the field THURSDAY NITES August 16th- November 15 in 2012. We'll try to run B-Ball from Feb 28-June 12 in 2012. I'll be submitting that to the Stake this week.

Lost & Found-

A pair of Black, White & Red Nike shoes have not yet been claimed. IF they're yours please pick them up.

Each week B-Balls are being left at the gym. If you lost yours on the court, check the equipment room by the stage.

QCNS Softball Report 4.30.11: QCNS's First Co-Ed Softball Game

Brethren and Sistern,

A famous college Basketball coach (I can't recall his name) who had coached both Men's and Women's teams was asked by a Sports Writer what the difference was between coaching Men and Women. The reply, "The Time Out huddles smell better with the Women!" It definitely smelled better last night at the ball park than it has for some time......

Image by Garrett Speed via Flicker

Well, Co-Ed softball ALMOST worked..... and those sisters that played DID raise the level of performance!

Everyone who showed up for the 6:00 and 6:40 PM games were couples. Too bad only THREE couples showed up!

Even the ONE couple for the 6:00 PM didn't make it by game time. Fortunately, I had my routine Game Nite Chipotle Steak Bowl and a Robert Ludlum book to keep me company. (Ludlum wrote the Bourne Identity series).

I take that back.... Just remembered Yoshi from Nauvoo Station made it for the 6:40 PM game saying, "Anyone who was somebody from Nauvoo Station was probably at some Young Adult Closing Activity tonight." "So, Yoshi, what does it mean since you are here and not at the Young Adult activity?" He shrugged, mumbled something about being too old or too mature for that sort of thing and left.....

I was surprised Ole & his fiance from Nauvoo Station did not show. She's been bragging all season on how SHE was the better ball player between the two of them and if we'd just let ladies play she'd prove it! Could it be Ole knows it and wasn't man enough to show up and let the truth be known?

BUT THE CRISMON WARD CAME THRU BIG TIME FOR THE 7:20 PM GAME!! It looked like a real Family Nite at the ball park with all the kids running around. Must have had 12-14 people from Crismon Ward plus a few spectators showed up. Those chauvinist boys from the Former Stake Champion Rittenhouse Wards only had 5-6 players and not a Sister among them!! Even the Monson guy was a no show. (I'm barely holding back a comment about how Monson would have fit right in 'cause he plays like a girl. Hmmm...... maybe I didn't hold back enough?)

A few couples from Desert Mountain showed up for the 8:00 PM game. No one, as usual, from Vineyard. The Desert Mountain folks joined in with those folks from Crismon & Rittenhouse that stayed and continued the 7:20 game.

Prior to starting the 9:20 PM game, for which my Cortina 2nd ward was a complete No Show, it was rumored Skye Fagrell of Cortina 3rd ward, he of legendary prowess might show up. A monster fielder at the "Hot Corner" and a power hitter at the plate, Skye has been absent for some time from our venue. Suddenly, like a ghost or as those players from The Field of Dreams movie that eerily emerged from the rows of corn, Skye came gliding thru the Ramada onto the field. The enthusiasm of his teammates held no bounds as he stepped into the dug out!! Too bad not enough people showed or could stay from the prior game to get the boy a real game.....

Comments thru out the evening were rather interesting.

When asked if a particular sister was coming the reply was "No, She said she doesn't sweat on purpose!"

When asked if a sister that was present was going to play she replied, "No, I might break my nails". "But they can grow back, can't they?" "No, these are fake nails!" "Then you can just go by new ones, can't you?"  Hearing the exchange I said, "You ladies have been badgering me to let you play for 2 seasons, now you've got your chance and you aren't gonna play!!??" A nearby husband, not necessarily her husband, says, "Yeah!" She grabbed a glove and started warming up....

Another sister showed up in flip flops and had to borrow her brother's tennis shoes since he'd brought cleats to play in.

A sister, NOT playing, after seeing her husband botch a routine fly yelled out, "What's with you!! You choke every time I come to see you play!" No Sisters, that's not the sort of positive reinforcement your tender husbands need to hear. "Oh, nice try honey!!" or "You'll get it next time, sweet heart!" are more appropriate. Perhaps the, "Run baby, run!!" that one sister yelled to her not too fleet of foot husband one night would even be better.

Those sisters that played seemed to enjoy themselves. Some said they'd like to play more. So.......
In MAY we go back to THURSDAY Nites with the 1st game being May 5th.

We WILL PLAY CO-ED again that nite.

I'm trying to match up possible rivalries between Wards that have been divided out from each other. I switched the game times around so those wards that had early games last nite have later games next Thursday night... EXCEPT Crismon Ward showed up so well for their 7:20 PM game, I left them at that same time slot. I did hear some talk Friday nite that some Wards had been late getting the word out to people (even tho I'd warned everyone a week prior that we might play Co-Ed and TUESDAY I sent the E-Mail confirming it) and that more sisters would have played IF they'd known. So please spread the word at church tomorrow.

It was Red Skelton who quipped about his wife, "We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops" So Brethren remember, if you're at the ball park with your wife, she can't be off shopping....

See you all Next Thursday Nite.

QCNS Softball Report 4.8.11

Remember we are playing FRIDAY NIGHTS throughout all of April.

Granted, a night to the ball park, chasing screaming kids and no bathrooms for those screaming kids, is not an ideal "date night" for most of the sisteren, so please be sure to take your wives (girlfriends in the case of the Nauvoo Station Ward - if they have any) out to dinner after your game or on Saturday night to maintain peace and good will in your homes.

As usual there were not enough players for a 6:00 PM game. Not even enough to goof around, so they all went home. It did not get much better through the evening,...

A Nauvoo Station (Singles Ward) player showed up for the 7:00 PM game to find only one other Nauvoo Station player and asked, "you mean I gave up my date night for this?" To which I replied, "Fella, did you have a date for tonight?" "No" He admitted. "Then you can't give up what you ain't already got can you?" I pointed out. He wandered off to play catch with his fellow ward member.

An unnamed member of the perennial 2nd or 3rd place finishing Cortina 2nd Ward was getting ready for his 8:00 PM game slot and almost fell over when he stood up. Seems he'd put his shoes on the wrong feet! His excuse was "I wasn't looking" when he put the on! Poor fellow hasn't been the same since he turned 40 a few months ago.

No one showed up for the 9:00 PM game, so I turned off the Ramada lights and went home.

Cortina 1st Ward's Brother Padilla showed up in a San Antonio Spurs t-shirt bragging about how their going to be in the playoffs. OK, I can live with that as he is respecting the ban on not wearing Texas colors. But I was caused to reflect back to last week when Artie and Amber Whiting showed BOTH sporting ASU shirts. It was SO CUTE!! Other than the ASU WOMEN's Basketball & Softball teams and the Men's Baseball teams, ASU has been one big flop for the last several years in the "money sports" - football and basketball. So I have decided to ban ASU colors until they win a football game other than the maroon versus white preseason intra-team Spring and Preseason scrimmages or NAU, their traditional patsy Division II opening game opponent that they have barely beat the last 2 years.

A number of the sisteren keeping asking me, "when are you going to have women's softball or co-ed softball." Do I look like the relief society women's sports director??!! Youse got's to ask the stake Relief Society Presidency about your own sports program ladies!!

I have run the idea of co-ed softball up the flagpole once before but did not get an answer. Some stakes think it's "not appropriate" to allow men and women on the same teams. Using that same reasoning we shouldn't allow men and women to serve together in Cub and 11 year old Scout programs, serve in Primary or attend Ward Council Meetings together, but we do, don't we? So maybe we are capable of playing co-ed softball too?

So, I'm including that editorial in this update hoping it will get passed along up the line to the Stake High Council and Stake Presidency for their consideration. We'll see.

That is it for this report.

Vic Pear
Stake Men's something or other

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